a life unaccounted for

"People think that a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants.But a true soulmate is a mirror - the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person that you'll ever meet because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soulmate forever? Nah, it's too painful."

-EAT, PRAY, LOVE

Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy) deliberated, “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it felt good when I stopped.” For the majority of the viewers, it was perceptive and touching. For some, however, it was deliberately annoying, melodramatic to some extent, and downright stupid. For these people, once is enough. When failure creeps in, it is game over for them. No ‘try again’ and no second chances. Be it in finding their one true love, their quest for success, and yes, their venture in the networking industry.

Who wouldn’t want a lucrative income? Networking promises that. It is depressing though that because of some persons’ greed and scheming to take advantage of those who are just trying to make their life easier by earning more, networking scams were developed. Day after day, we are bombarded by negative news about this to the point that networking became synonymous with fraud, sham, swindling, and deception.

The predicament is this: how do we distinguish the real ones? Here are some pointers I learned:

1. There must be a revolving product. A networking company that doesn’t offer anything is not a company. It is not even a legal business at all. Unless they figured out a way to sell promises (which I bet they did, if they were able to fool a lot of people), look for their flagship product.

2. A limitation for bonuses must exist. So they say they are offering “unlimited referral bonus!” don’t shout “Whoopee!” just yet. Think, and think hard: if they are giving away all their receipts as bonuses, how can they earn? Ano ‘to, lokohan?

3. You WORK in order to EARN. It is the basic—and the only—rule in the corporate and entrepreneurship world. Simply put, your investment will not multiply by itself. Say a networking company urges you to invest a certain amount of money, earning as much as 3% a day with you not doing anything at all. It is unbelievable and by itself doubtful, but some people are still hooked. Why? Because it is too good to be true, and they are fervently, zealously hoping/wishing/dreaming for it to come true. Come on! Even long-term deposits only go up as much as 12 to 15% a year! Three percent a day equals 90% a month, which is a long way from 20% like your good old 5-6 lending system. Also, some people who are joining the real networking groups are expecting checks when they are not doing anything at all. Excuse me, you paid for the products, as well as the right to become a dealer/partner; you did not buy a share of stock in that company to be waiting for some kind of dividend to come rushing into you. You want to earn? Sell your products! You want to earn? Refer your friends and relatives! Ganun lang kasimple.

I know, I know, your first venture into networking turned out to be a hoax. But don’t let it stop you from wanting a better life. Did Colonel Sanders stop persisting after 1,009 rejections on his chicken recipe? If he did, then we would never know Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). Did Thomas Edison stop after failing thousands of times before inventing the incandescent bulb? I could give you a thousand more success stories, but you can just Google it for yourself. (All thanks to the World Wide Web and wireless fidelity, which are also success stories on their own.) Don’t rob yourself of the chance to try one more time. Who knows? Today might be your day.

Okay, so what I really want to say is that opportunity knocks just once, and if you won’t grab it now, we’ll make sure all your friends and relatives will grab it, and by the time you believe in the business, they are already financially successful. Will you let yourself be left behind? Skeptics ask me, “Why networking?” and to them all I say, “Why NOT?”

P.S. Okay, so I am an Accounting graduate, and by profession, I should be cynical about this. I had been in this industry for just a WEEK when my whole family (Mama and 4 sisters) and my boyfriend became members last Tuesday (02.23.10). Next week at the release of checks, Mama will receive Php9,000.00, oldest sister will receive Php7,000.00, and both me and my youngest sister (who haven’t referred anyone yet) will receive Php1,000.00 through matching bonus. Not bad, huh? Also I've met there RNs, engineers, realtors, and students from FEU, CEU, Lyceum, and PUP, just to name some.

P.P.S. Also answering “Why NOT?”? Contact me, and I’ll tell you the story of “Barya King.” -09234788688

P.P.P.S. Fellow networkers, if you can add something to my list of pointers, that would be awesome. ^_^

Was supposed to go to Quiapo, but couldn’t get through Sta. Mesa because of the public swimming pool that appeared everytime there is a little drizzle of rain. On the way back, I was bombarded with the present reality: uneducated, unguided youth;tax-evading businesses; and slum areas that looked like garbage mountains from afar (like nightmare up close). The Social Cancer all over again. The difference? Spaniards had nothing to do with it, for you did it to yourselves.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I had seen how you can be united. But should someone die for you to become one? Congratulations, you’ve come a long way in terms of your ways of life, but look at the cost. And I understand you, I really do. I know you don’t have anything at your table, and I also experienced that. When I just finished Noli, I almost threw it into the fire because I didn’t have any money to publish it. I ate just once a day, mostly bread and coffee, not unlike the kaninbaw you’re eating right now.

What everyone needs in these times of turmoil are the Maximo Violas of the world to give hope to people. But all will be waiting, and no one will become one. You see the problem?

The Filipinos will always be colonized: by Padre Damaso, by Americans, by commercialism, by pornography, by politicians, by selfish dreams. The situation and actors will vary, but the play will remain the same.

So now what? The answer is simple. Start small. Dream. Make a difference. Register. Vote. Know your rights. Exercise your rights. Better yet, join The Good Ideas. Because when people think of better ways to improve our beautiful country, I will always be there. I am willing to die a million times for you, so I’ll see you on Whitespace.

**
P earl of the Orient, oh my grace-filled and exquisite home
I will forever live in your sweet promise of peace
N ay, no one can replace you in my heart until my life will cease
O nly you will be flourishing in this majestic throne
Y earning will I always be for your freedom until I receive Death’s kiss

Pupungas pungas, isinara ang alarm ng
cellphone. Naligo, at umalis ng walang
lingon-lingon. (Naiwan pa ang baong ri-chee.
At ang gate, nakalimutang isusi.)

Lakad, takbo, lakad. Sakay ng dyip.
Lakad, takbo, lakad. Sakay ng fx.
“Legarda po.” Sabay abot
ng bayad. “Wag sanang ma-late” sabay
hinga ng maluwag.

“Norway, norway, ano ang 2-0 mo?”
“Walang madaanan dito
Kilo, pasakayin mo na lang ng
LRT yang mga 59’s mo. Lahat
ng eskinita sarado.”

“Heavy 53 dito sa Pandacan, wala
na ko malusutan. Toyota, saan tayo?”
“Patay tayo Oscar, hindi ko din alam
to.” Palatak ng boses sa radyo.

Nakabalandra sa kalsada ang mga tumitirik
na sasakyan, nagsu-swimming sa baha
ang mga batang walang muwang. Libre
ang entrance fee! Sa resort sa Santol Ave.
Pinasukan ng tubig ang tambutso ng
motor ng tagadeliver ng dyaryo. Hindi
malalaman ng mga pobre ang
latest tungkol kay Cory.

Hay naku, kung kelan ka sinipagan
saka naman walang napakinabangan.
10:30 na, sabi ng cellphone
ko, sana may breakfast meals pa
sa McDo. Kainis talaga, nakakabanas!
Mabuti pang umuwi at manood
ng Veronica Mars.

(O mag-internalize bilang si
Lolo Pepe. Baka sakaling manalo
pa ng Noli.)

TAMA NA--ITAMA NA!! These were our words to the public as we walked amidst the rain from don bosco to paseo de roxas, getting encouragement from bystanders and motorists by cheering us and blowing their horns. Joining my very first rally (despite receiving a text mesage from boy etnad saying "wag kaung sasama sa rally ni karen") i was overwhelmed with how the Filipinos, particularly the students and church leaders, react to our present situation. (And i was starstrucked to see former VP Teofisto Guingona standing a few feet from me--Mama, ibili mo na ko ng camera!!) Our school president got tired of signature campaigns, and decided to take the next step and join the interfaith rally along with at most 80,000 people. Students from Basic Education Curriculum from all over Manila who were too young to join conducted a noise barrage at exactly 3 pm.

The night before, Coco Pimentel visited our school (Ma, ung camera!!) and talked about electoral fraud and corruption, informing us that because of the NBN-ZTE anomaly, our already burgeoning debt just increased by P400 per individual.

Really, would it hurt us not to have broadband connections in our government offices, when more than half of the youth can't afford to go to school? When we are always flooded, but we buy our drinking water? When school in remote places share a book, or doesn't even have one? Presently, our social pyramid experiences a volcanic effect. Just like what Pimentel explained, one is either very rich, or very poor--the number of middle-class people decreases. There are thousands of projects they can focus on. If the administration can really have $329 million (more than 16 billion pesos), then why put it on a project that can be considered a luxury? (Only one in ten Filipinos own a computer, and not all even have internet connection.)

Luigi Tabuena of the Black and White movement stressed that if you followed the senate hearings, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know who is telling the truth and who is not. They put war paints on their faces because "it is a war, we've come here to make a statement.. and i know that all over the country this is happening, in different sectors and different magnitude." (Watch his interview.)

Too bad i really admire GMA for being a great economist. And I realized she really is--to the extent of seeing the country as one great business. She invested money in order to win, and now she's getting it back--plus interest. In Pimentel's words, she wouldn't care about the people because "they didn't vote for me, they didn't put me here--i bought my way here!" (Remember the Garci scandal: "Hello Garci, would I still lead by a million votes?")

It is deeply saddening that Philippines could never have a great President for the lure of money and power is too much, but i just hope that our system could change.. even just a bit.. because Filipinos our getting sick of it all and are trying to find Utopia in foreign soils (as if there is one), and i don't want to be one of them. I love being a Filipino, and as much as i wanted to tour the Europe and the Disneyland, i feel proud that hundreds of thousands of tourists went to our country for our own natural treasures. I will always come back to the Philipines and experience them firsthand.

Enter the Wonderland. Picture Alice, left in quandary upon reaching a fork in the road. Then came the Cheshire cat, and she asked his opinion whether to turn right or left.

"Where do you want to go?" asked the tricky feline.

"I don't know," was her riposte.

"Then it doesn't matter either way," came the reply, and the Cheshire cat, grinning, vanished into thin air.

It may have been Hudibrastic, but his response had hit the nail -- had Alice known her destination, she wouldn't get quite confused in which road to take.

As 2008 rolls over, many of us share Alice's perplexity. What am I to do know? Do I have plans in my life? Am I following a goal? Can I be a coup sur what i really want?

Surely, New Year's resolutions were but a thing of the past, something we are happy to be freed from. (Admit it, the only time you make resolutions is because it's a requirement back in elementary and high school. yeah, you wouldn't mind weaving your personal pointers for a better life in order to bag a decent mark, even if you are fully aware that your religious compliance expires rather fast -- after the Fiest of Epiphany, at the most.)

And as if in sheer mockery, our year started not with a bang of celebration, but with piles of problems faced by our country -- calamities, political wars, and moral degradation. People are left hopeless, both for themselves and the government, and opt to seek Utopia in foreign soils. (As if there is one.)

Heard Mojofly? With Lougee attuning, "Wake up, reality bites," we are left to ponder the rock-hard truth: we are facing a very difficult, groping, tough, irksome, arduous, formidable, and crises-stricken life -- but at least we are sure we are still alive to have it. Anyway, where's the joy in living, if it would be sans problems? you might as well bore yourself to death.

God may seem to give us the tasks of Sisyphus or Hercules or Atlas, but we are still fortunate to experience it.

So, given that we are living a challenging life, what's the catch?

As one underground rock show emphasizes, "Only dead fish swims with the current," we need to have a purpose in life, a reason for breathing, a cause for braving the stream.

And to do just that, we need a guide, a screaming beacon amidst the darkness. But where to start? My proposition? Your own resolutions. (Yeah right, I was ridiculing it six paragraphs ago.) Nevertheless, this time we have to make a resolution not because we should but because we want. It may not be written but still, having resolutions manifests our openness for change, for improvements, for a better life.

Resolutions may not drive us to where we want to be, but at least we will never again be confused as to which road to take.

Because admit it or not, life is one hell of a maze.


"When this is over," she said, "when I know what the next ten minutes of my life are going to be, you and I are going to.."

"To what?"

"To see."

"About what?" he asked.

"About everything. Everything."

-Reed's Promise, John Clarkson

English teacher ms valdez is one of the perfectionist ones that i used to hate but have grown to love -- now she's my favorite english teacher! still, sobrang taas ng standards nya and the whole semester, i'm trying to do good in her subject.. crusader editor in chief ako but one time i got 3 points out of 20 sa knya sa essay!! waah! evrything else is average, except for this one, kya sobrang saya ko dito at inilagay ko tlaga sa blog!! at tungkol pa xa sa harry potter, akalain mo un? (ginawa kong example sa human relations..)


"You are the weak one, you'll never know love or friendship.. i feel sorry for you.."

Thus mused Harry Potter to Voldemort in the latest installment of the HP series entitled Order of the Phoenix. In the film, Harry was inspired to continue fighting because he has friends "worth fighting for." He knew that he was never alone, and that fact was enough for him to bring out his wand and defeat the Hogwart's Dark Lord -- and he succeeded.

In the same way, we are all aware that it is imperative for us to have good human relations in the business world. Since we are all bound to meet different kinds of people with different personalities. we should make it a point to be flexible in relating with them. Since businesses rely greatly on customers to prosper, excellent relationships with them must be observed. Not only it is a way of ensuring success in the business, it is also important to build linkages in the industry. There is no such thing as succeeding on one's own -- if there is, than there should not be acknowledgement or thank-you speeches. Excellent human relations must be mastered, lest you end up like Lord Voldemort and fail -- no matter how powerful you are.

nde to nasama sa scrapbook na ginawa ko pra kei udeng nung anniv nmen.. ginawa ko nung nag-hiatus xa sa panliligaw 2 yrs ago.. hehe!

i tried to forget you, but you didn't let me
i tried to erase the memories, but you still want to see
how can i move on, if you keep hanging on them
when you knew all along our feeling aren't the same

for a very long time, you made me believe
that for me amd my love, everything you'll give
i made myself believe that you really love me
then i just found out that it's a lie, really

so i tried to forget you, i tried to move on
make myself believe it's all imagination
and just as i'm backing down, you're here
just as a friend, but always very near

how can i forget you, when you didn't let me
how can i erase the memories, when you still want to see
i tried to forget you, i;m sure you aren't told
but i can't get over you, and that's you're fault...

When I’m with you…

…I wriggle, flitter, flounder
…I skip, twitch, hitch
…I sway
…I tremble, stumble, shamble
…I totter, jostle, hustle
…I flap
…I shiver, twitter, quiver
…I palpitate, agitate, pulsate
…I stagger
…I reel to and fro
…I brave the winds and waves
…I brandish my wand
…I whip my multiloquence
…I fall in love
…I fall out of love
…I fall back in love
…I became the luckiest princess
…I remain the emblem of foolishness
…I love every moment of it
(…I regret nothing.)

Celestial bliss I felt as I accede to your arm
A refuge for the destitute, no judgment, no harm
Lull me into sleep, never put up a fight
Fiery eyes connected with mine, and nothing’s ever right

Your hand traveled: coursing, finding its place
Lost in the potter’s field, in itself a maze
Found the one in hiding, you clamor and grasp
Elysian Fields erupted, then out I passed

I’m your own succubus, a paradisiacal one
Cadaverous and stygian, I’m here but I’m gone
With me even in abattoir, Nirvana will be felt
Blood will be effused, into annihilation you’ll melt

Out of nowhere
A tear fell—
A drop
A trickle
Erasing
Trace of kisses
Left on my mind
Grip tightens
Afraid
Of falling
Into everlasting oblivion
Feeling wasted
I laid
A hopeless case
Then
Out of nowhere
A tear fell—
A drop
A trickle
Healing
The wound in my heart
Till I’m whole
Again.

How can you let go of the gypsy
Who had found her home with you?
You took away the chagrin
But inflict misery in return
Removed her from desolation
Just to be crushed with gnawing grief
Now she’s back
On the streets—
Alone,
Waiting for someone
Who could put her out
From vexation of spirit
Waiting for someone
Who will make her complete
With just a touch,
A kiss, a smile..
Waiting for someone
Who will hold her hand
And take all her fears
Waiting for someone
Who will hug her
And make her forget
All she’s been through
Waiting for someone
Who will know everything
She’s about to say
Waiting for you
To take her back
(And hopes you will
Before she gets tired of waiting)
But for now
She’ll wander
Again.

Stop pushing it; I’m tired of all these games
All that’s left to us are ashes from the flame
Coz how could you doubt what I really feel
How could you say my love isn’t real?

Words are not enough to show a feeling this elusive
So just allow me to reveal the heart you held captive

I don’t have to say I love you
My actions show it all
I don’t have to say you’re my world
I’ll just be there when you call
The way I kiss you, the way I stare
How the elegy of my heart is bared
Don’t doubt, I’ll be here for you
I don’t have to say I love you

Such enigma we are surrounded with
Chaos: would our supplication be heed?
Never fear, just hold on to me
Look into my eyes and you’ll see

But since it’s what you want to hear
Then I love you so much still..

I wish I can see you more often
L eaving you? I think I can’t
O nly you completes my day
V ery sad of me when you’re away
E verytime you’re near
Y ou can see a smile in me
O nly towards you I’m feeling this so tru
U nbelievable, but I think I LOVE YOU..

(ginawa ko nung grade 5)

Idyllic memories of you run through my head
Doubts set aside, questions left unsaid
Be here, will you? For I am emancipated
Freed from the banshees following my stead

Never did you went astray from your role
A Promethean lad always heeding to my call
Succumbing to your warmth, I remain vulnerable
But not even once did you let me fall

Forget the things we’ve shared, I will never
Hyaline thoughts for this princess to bear
Grateful that our worlds crashed into each other
Because since then, life had never been sweeter

my peripheral vision catches you
a glimpse ten seats away from me
wondering how situations change
exuberance sent into the void

as passengers go down
so are my feelings melt into nothingness
one by one, they vanish
leaving me numb and apathetic

can't use these hands anymore
to grab your willingly offered neck
nor these fangs to savor them
and rightfully claim my eternal slave

time for me to go home
forget all the regrets and disappointments
yet i can't see where to step down
cause tears blur these mystic eyes...